


The First Letter

by Ferith12



Series: Letters to Alfred [2]
Category: DCU
Genre: Dick Grayson is a Talon, Gen, Letter written to Alfred, Mentions of Jason Todd - Freeform, ex-Talon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-16
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-05-27 01:18:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6263851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ferith12/pseuds/Ferith12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick needs advice and writes a letter to Alfred.  This is the letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Letter

To Alfred.

Do you remember that kid that used to live with you? Dick Grayson? He was Robbin for about a year and a half and then he went missing. It’s okay if you forgot.

Anyway, I’m him. Sort of. Have you ever heard of the Court of Owls? The ones from the nursery rhyme? Well, they’re real, and I was their Talon. Also, I was dead, but they sort of made me alive again. But not really alive, like Jason, just sort of alive. Jason says I’m undead. But I’m not at all like the zombies that I see sometimes on tv.

Well, after the Court undeaded me, I went through initiation, Jason calls it brainwashing with some extra torture thrown in just for the fun of it. It wasn’t very nice, but it was necessary for making me Talon. Somewhere in there, either from the undeading or the initiation, I forgot everything about my before self. I still have feelings about things and people from before, and I’m getting more of them, and stronger ones all the time now that I’m away from the Court, but I have no memories. So I’m not your Dick Grayson anymore. If you still care about him, I’m really, really sorry.  
After a while, Jason says it was ten years, Jason and I bumped in to one another when I was on my way to kill the Senator (I forget which one) and he sort of captured me, because it was winter and so my fighting wasn’t the best. Since then he hasn’t let me leave and has been teaching me about morality and how to be a person and stuff.

That was three years ago, and I feel like now I’m sort of learning to maybe be Dick Grayson again, not the one from before, but a new one, me. 

But now I have a problem, because does Dick Grayson kill?  Talon does. And so does Jason, but I’m starting to think that he might not know everything. 

I feel like killing bad people the way Jason does is the right thing to do, because all the arguments for it Jason makes make sense. If you don’t kill them, they’ll probably keep doing horrible things. And when it’s a choice between killing a horrible person or letting an innocent one die, shouldn’t you always choose to kill the one that deserves it?  Of course, I deserve to be killed too, but I’m not killing innocents anymore so there wouldn’t be a point.

I guess I’m living proof that anyone can change. But how many people are going to die while we wait around for serial killers to have a change of heart? I mean, personally I’m glad it didn’t happen, but from an objective point of view (that’s a word Jason likes to use a lot) wouldn’t it have been better if someone killed me when I first became a Talon? One life would have been lost, but all those I killed, maybe numbering in the hundreds, would have lived.

Life matters. Jason’s taught me that. Doing what’s right matters. Jason’s taught me that, too. But what IS right? And do some lives matter more than others? And if so, which ones and why? Is it even okay to think about some lives mattering more? But when it comes to killing or not killing don’t you have to ask that either way? 

I’ve seen Batman and Red Hood’s arguments before, so I’ve heard it from Bruce’s side, too. But his arguments never make near as much sense as Jason’s. They’re not even arguments most of the time, they’re just orders. Batman just tells Red Hood that it’s not okay to kill, or killing is never the answer. Giving orders without giving reasons is never okay. That’s the first thing Jason taught me. The Court used to give me orders, they said I could never question them, they taught me to think that questioning and demanding reasons for things was wrong. That’s how I ended up doing bad things. I’m never going back to that. I need reasons for things now, better reasons than “Killing bad. No do.”. Except at the same time that is exactly what I feel like. Like killing is just wrong because it’s wrong, no matter what.

It’s like my feelings are pulling me one way and logic is pulling me the other. It’s so confusing and I don’t know what to do.

I don’t remember why, but I think if anyone has the answers you will. At the very least you’re a third opinion, and I NEED a third opinion. 

If you bothered to read all that, thank you so much.

Talon


End file.
